There are many pledges or oaths people take during a lifetime. As Patriots people pledge allegiance to the Flag of their nation. When they become a Citizen of a Country people recite a vow of responsibility to that Nation.

Each Marriage ceremony includes important promises couples make to each other. In Court when people give testimony they undertake a verbal agreement to tell the Truth.Likewise, many occupations devoted to service include undertaking a verbal covenant for their field. Daily people make promises, swearing one thing or another. All if this is because there is a power in making a formal spoken oath before others. It concretes the intent to commit to the words spoken, letting that pact shape the decisions of life from then onward. That idea held strong in my heart this week as I, along with a cherished friend Chuck McCoy, formally Took Refuge at Dong Hung Temple in Virginia Beach.

The Wisdom of the Buddha found me in 2005 when at one of the lowest points in my life I realized the way I functioned was not working. I needed a different, effective way to live that would make lasting change to overcome depression, anxiety, and physical illness from it. The Quest begins. Over a year I searched - reading, studying, and practicing - trying to find what really worked. I sifted through the vast wisdom that has been poured into the world. From my own experience, and honestly analyzing people who lived in compassionate balance in life, Buddhism became my path. The teachings of Buddha became my guide:

•  Ÿ  Do not dwell in the past; do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
• Ÿ  To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.
• Ÿ  Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.
• Ÿ  Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.
• Ÿ  Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life.
• Ÿ  Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue.
• Ÿ  Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.
• Ÿ  The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.
• Ÿ  The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.
• Ÿ  The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.
• Ÿ  The wise ones fashioned speech with their thought, sifting it as grain is sifted through a sieve.
• Ÿ  There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.
• Ÿ  Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace.
• Ÿ  We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.
• Ÿ  We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
• Ÿ  Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill.
• Ÿ  You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.
• Ÿ  You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.

Over the next five years my life dramatically changed as I began to use the roadmap Buddha gave to navigate my existence. I found there was no better goal in life, no other work more valuable than effort invested in being a better person who truly lived a better life. The body ages. Money spends. Objects break. Minds slow. The Soul remains forever. Cultivating the Soul is the only work that really matters and in the end lasts.

Finally while following along the Path of the Great Way, this year I was lead to my Temple home that showed me the value beyond just the Buddha - the one who shows the way, but the beauty of exploring the depths of his teaching the Dharma - the way of Understanding and Love, and the unconditional imperative support of the Sangha - the community that lives in Harmony and Awareness. Through this I began to realize the importance of solidifying my commitment to this Journey in life surrounded by the support of community also on same path. I knew it was time to formally commit my feet to the Path by Taking Refuge.

Before the love of my Sangha Family and our three Venerable Monks, the ceremony began. The beauty of having everyone there was not to necessarily hold each other accountable, because in the end we are really only accountable to our self for what we manifest in our life by our actions. But strength always comes in numbers. Anyone who has traveled knows it is much easier to navigate a difficult road with help. Knowing we are not alone in this quest called life gives us courage on the journey down the straight and narrow path to cultivate a life that honors the past, lives valuably in the present, and works toward building a better future for our life and those around us.

Taking every moment to heart, I laid myself - my ego - down, like Venerable Thay Do said, “Like the mountain falling over” in humility. I touched the earth setting the self constructed "me" down as less important than all life living and breathing around. I set "myself" in the backseat of life where it belongs. I bowed "myself" to the greatness of spiritual consciousness that we are all born with, but we often get in the way of. Just as the image of the Buddha serves as a reflection for us, I formally set the image I want to see in the mirror every day. In my heart I committed to carry that image with me, vowing to let the Five Precepts guide my actions:

The first Precept

Aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life, I vow to cultivate compassion and learn ways to protect the lives of people, animals, plants and minerals. I am determined not to kill, not to let others kill, and not to condone any act of killing in the world, in my thinking, and in my way of life.

The Second precept

Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing and oppression, I vow to cultivate loving kindness and learn ways to work for the well being of people, animals, plants and minerals. I vow to practice generosity by sharing my time, energy and material resources with those who are in real need. I am determined not to steal and not to possess anything that should belong to others. I will respect the property of others, but I will prevent others from profiting from human suffering or the suffering of other species on Earth.

The Third precept

Aware of the suffering caused by sexual misconduct, I vow to cultivate responsibility and learn ways to protect the safety and integrity of individuals, couples, families and society. I am determined not to engage in sexual relations without love and a long-term commitment. To preserve the happiness of myself and others, I am determined to respect my commitments and the commitments of others. I will do everything in my power to protect children from sexual abuse and to prevent couples and families from being broken by sexual misconduct.

The Four precepts

Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I vow to cultivate loving speech and deep listening in order to bring joy and happiness to others and relieve others of their suffering. Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I vow to learn to speak truthfully, with words that inspire self-confidence, joy and hope. I am determined not to spread news that I do not know to be certain and not to criticize or condemn things of which I am not sure. I will refrain from uttering words that can cause division or discord, or that can cause the family or community to break. I will make all efforts to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.

The Fifth of the Five precepts

Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful consumption, I vow to cultivate good health, both physical and mental, for myself, my family, and my society by practicing mindful eating, drinking and consuming. I vow to ingest only items that preserve peace, well-being and joy in my body, in my consciousness, and in the collective body and consciousness of my family and society. I am determined not to use alcohol or any other intoxicant or to ingest foods or other items that contain toxins, such as certain TV programs, magazines, books, films and conversations. I am aware that to damage my body or my consciousness with these poisons is to betray my ancestors, my parents, and my society and future generations. I will work to transform violence, fear, anger and confusion in myself and in society by practicing a diet for myself and for society. I understand that a proper diet is crucial for self-transformation and for the transformation of society.

Lofty goals? Yes. Inside these Precepts I can see the main areas of life that cause the majority of my own suffering as well as that of others around me. There is so much I can see inside Buddha’s Precepts that defined the “self” I laid down. The truth that I will fail in my attempt - possibly over and over - became very real. With it came the understanding that when I do fail, I will learn from the experience more about myself and life without having to guiltily judge myself into condemnation. I will grow as much from failure as success.

As I left for the night after the ceremony took place, one of my Sangha Brother’s congratulated me saying, "Now the real work begins."

Knowing Buddhism has already been my path for awhile I answered, "It continues on!"

He nodded with a smile, responding knowingly, "No. Now the work really begins."

The next day as the events of my ceremony and vows really begin to sink in, I sat down at my computer to dive into my normal Social Media morning. I stopped with a resounding... wow. Suddenly the words I planned to type on my Status’s had newer meaning. I wondered if the sarcastic humor I usually use to entertain myself and friends was really appropriate. Was judging something I was not sure of in a humorous way simple for a laugh really productive? What came of it? Out of nowhere that night a spot light from my own heart shined when I began to comment on something I saw on television that I wanted to condemn. When I scowled at something said by someone else, I felt something inside me calming the aversion with compassion. Normal parts of my dialogue with people in my life came into question. I thought twice about the ice cream I did not need, but wanted, because really - when did the food really ever comfort me?

The realization set in that this is the path. In Buddhism it’s not the necessarily the destination but the Path that is the Way. The conscious questioning and correcting, failing and building, meditating and studying, is what pot marks the road of the journey that has really just begun as I am now holding myself officially to a higher standard. I have in my hands the medicine of life. By taking Refuge, I have committed to myself to, as we say, “be a good girl and take my medicine.” Like we were told at Temple, the Precepts are not a burden. They give us strength in order to help us not act in ways we do not want to. The Precepts are the Ornaments of the Wise that give us energy and stamina to lead us from harming our self and others. It is the path to a better life and a better world. Now it’s almost a week out from Taking Refuge, I smile remembering my conversation with my Brother and I whole heartedly agree. Now the real work begins.

 Karyn Aryan

Chuck McCoy and Karyn Souza